[Kieran]

Hi Julie,

Thanks very much for your excellent answers.

Miss Santa Coloma, her name was!

What an interesting name! Encarna, one of the teachers on the course, is from a town near Barcelona called Santa Coloma!

She was our music teacher! She was very positive, smiley and gave us the chance to express ourselves following the rhythms of the songs she played. I remember very vividly how she asked us to tap her music on the desks letting ourselves feel carried away by what we felt. With her, we learned how to enjoy music. She was patient, good-natured, and caring.

Miss Santa Coloma sounds like a lovely teacher. I feel being patient is a prerequisite to being empathy.

2 My language teacher in primary school. She was judgmental and never praised us.

As we’ve already seen on the course being non-judgemental and praising students are two characteristics of empathic teachers.

3 not really! I haven’t learned another language as an adult… maybe I should try!!!

Learning a new foreign language helps us to remember what it’s like to be a language student and may foster empathy for our own students.

4 Yes, most of them are dynamic, patient, have a great sense of humor, and above they are committed.

It’s great to have empathic colleagues! I feel that being committed and having finding a purpose in teaching is a great aid to being empathic.

Thanks again for your excellent answers.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Julie,

Thanks very much for your great answers!

1 I find it extremely interesting! Social skills are as important as the academic ones! The fact that they would spend the first six months cutting off activities if issues arise to concentrate on solving problems is for me extremely innovative!! It is only when kids can deal with emotional skills that they can be better grounded to acquire academic skills more successfully.

Yes. Research does seem to indicate that when children can deal with emotional skills that they can be better grounded to acquire academic skills more successfully so it would seem to make sense to focus more on these social skills.

Empathy is especially essential in education since students need to learn in a safe environment. They spend a lot of their time outside their homes. It is the role of teachers to guarantee that kids interact respecting and taking care of themselves and others in the class.

Yes. Creating this safe environment is key to fostering empathy.

Empathy is also important in that it respects the pace in the learning process each kid has and as a team, they resemble a second family where all the member try to cooperate and as the saying goes, . “Family: like branches on a tree, we all grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one. ‘’

That’s a lovely proverb!

3
I think that it can be implemented as one more important subject like math, history, gym in the syllabus. A great opportunity for kids to discuss empathic literature, films and to talk about their lives and worries outside school

I really like your idea of having empathy as another subject in the curriculum and to use narratives to develop this empathy.

Thanks again for your excellent responses, Julie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Julie,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response to the questions.

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of the people we interact with, paying attention to how they are feeling and eventually guiding our actions accordingly. It is a complex construct that has some components both cognitive, affective, and empathic concern. The first one, involves the drive to identify other people’s feelings. The second, the affective component or the drive to respond appropriately to those feelings, and lastly, the empathic concern or the drive to care about people’s welfare and take action to help them.

An excellent summary of the three components of emapthy.

Empathy is crucial for humanity! It ‘s an important facet of a society because it’s the fundamental element that keeps the social fabric together, meaning that it helps people recognize themselves as part of the same nature, beyond cultural, ethnic, social, and political differences.

Absolutely. The universal nature of empathy goes beyond cultural, ethnic, social, and political differences.

I agree with Simon Baron-Cohen. He puts forward an optimistic idea. In his opinion problems, no matter what types are at stake can be treated with what he calls the solvent of empathy. So, in his view, any problem immersed in empathy becomes soluble and eventually can operate as a healing balm. Empathy is the element that awakens our ability to feel compassion and through its eyes, any kind of grudge held against another person melts in our hearts.

Yes. Baron-Cohen does seem to be saying that we can overcome any conflict, however, great, if we use empathy.

This is a hard, complex, and not so pleasant process because it strips us of any kind of excuses to hate one another.

I completely agree with you that this empathic process is very difficult to implement effectively.

In our local context, the empathy deficit sadly exists and has worsened after Covid 19. School closures due to COVID-19 have brought significant disruptions to education. In particular, in Argentina, the deficit is the result of more poverty and more inequalityand as a result, opportunites in education for the children whose families can not make ends has deteriorated even more.

Yes. Empathy seems to decline when a society becomes very unequal and there are huge differences between the rich and poor.

Thanks again for such a thoughtful and insightful response to the Activity, Julie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Encarna,

Thanks very much for introducing yourself. Great to have you on the course.

Your work context must bring its own challenges and rewards. I’m very interested to hear about your “Learning English through Films and Stories” course. As we’ll see on the course the use of narratives is undoubtedly the most effective way of fostering empathy in the classroom.

I’m looking forward to working with you on the course, Encarna.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Angie,

Thanks very much for your great answers!

1 How do you feel about the way empathy is taught in schools in Denmark?
I think Denmark is functioning as a role model for other countries in this area.

Yes. I also think Denmark is a role model of how to foster empathy in education. Danish teachers receive specific social and emotional training and the Danish education system and society reap the benefits of this.

2 Can you think of any other reasons why empathy is important in education?
Some children are fortunate to live in a loving empathic environment, but not all.

Absolutely! The importance of meaningful child-parent attachment in the early years to the development of empathy can’t be overstated.

3 How could empathy be better integrated into the school curriculum in your country?
I’m not up to date with the school system these days, but I believe there is more emphasis on fostering moral human beings

The development of morals and values such a social justice and equality are closely linked to the development of empathy.

Thanks again for your excellent responses, Angie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Angie,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response to the question.

Empathy is the ability to imagine someone else’s emotional response to a situation.

This is an excellent definition.

But what is important in the next step is to be curious: ask if the assumption is true for the other person. That is what is important. I think everyone would claim to be fairly empathic, everyone would say they can imagine what is going on for the other. But to see that as a starting point, not the end point is key. Not assuming one’s imagined reality for the other truly is the reality of the other.

This is a great point. We do indeed all think we are relatively empathic. It’s very difficult to accurately imagine the reality of the other. The biblical tenet of “Do not do unto others as you would expect they should do unto you” is extremely useful and a principle shared in Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and Sikhism, but as George Bernard Shaw pointed out we have to be careful with this tenet:

“Do not do unto others as you would expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.”

Therefore I would argue that the recognition of one’s owns limitations on understanding the reality of the other, plus the curiosity leading to overcoming those limitations/interpretations/assumptions can lead to true empathy, the one where another feels understood and that can lead to healing.

Yes. I agree it is very important to recognise our own limitations on understanding the reality of the other. Empathising with another person is very difficult and requires a lot of work.

Everybody believes they are empathic. Letting go of one’s interpretations/assumptions/judgements can be the path to empathy.

Yes. Letting go of our assumptions and judgements is a prerequisite to empathy but it’s not easy!

Is there a deficit? Yes. I wouldn’t say it is widening though. I believe that in recent years, as a society we have expanded our consciousness for other life trajectories, for the understanding of what is happening on the other side of the planet, for some many different stories… people are grappling with how to respect others while standing up for what they believe is right and true/values.

Excellent points here. Our consciousness for other life trajectories has certainly expanded in recent years and perhaps this has led to greater empathy for people very different from us. But perhaps at the same time, as research in the US would seem to indicate, we are lacking empathy for those in our own communities. It is a complex issue.

Thanks again for such a thoughtful and insightful response to the Activity, Angie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Julie,

Thanks very much for introducing yourself. Great to have you back at the School for Training and on the empathy course.

I completely agree with you that in these times of immense change empathy is more important than ever.

I’m looking forward to working with you on the course, Julie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Angie,

Thanks very much for introducing yourself. Great to have you back at the School for Training and on the empathy course.

I hope the move to setting up your own teaching business is a success and that you find this course useful.

I’m looking forward to working with you on the course, Angie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Maria Penya,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response to the question.

This is what I think I do (I’ve never stopped to think about it, I mean, it’s not intentional but rather intuitive.)

There’s no reason why you should have thought about it before 🙂

I think that good manners are essential in every aspect of life, so I encourage and demand this.

I completely agree with you about the importance of good manners and being polite.

From this starting point, I try to make students feel that, in an individual manner, we have a special link between us. I often have a few minutes to talk with them individually, I put my hand on their shoulder, I tell the younger girls how nice their hair looks today (they really appreciate this ? and I care about the difficulties the find both studying and organizing their work.

Simply touching a student on the shoulder can show you care about the student. I like your approach of paying teenage students compliments about their physical appearance.

Basically, I try to treat them the way I would like to be treated.

Treating others as you would like to be treated, is a fundamental characteristic of an empathic person and a key tenet of all the major religions.

I also try to make everybody feel part of the group, otherwise it is impossible to create a positive dynamic.

Making students feel valued members of the group is essential.

Thanks again for such a thoughtful and insightful response to the Activity, Maria Penya.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Mariana,

Thanks very much for your great answers!

Honestly, I’m having a really hard time putting into words why empathy is important. Empathy allows us to participate in society, in a meaningful way.

Don’t worry! Empathy is a complex construct with multiple components. I think you’ve captured the essence of empathy when you say it allows us to participate in society. It also ensures society functions fairly.

I had never thought about empathy being this healing balm, but it makes sense. Empathy allows us to solve problems from a positive place. Negotiations and conflict resolution are much easier when done with empathy.

Baron-Cohen’s metaphor of empathy as a soothing balm is lovely. Empathy definitely makes conflict resolution easier.

Baron Cohen’s quote reminds me a lot of a concept I recently learned called “Compassionate curiosity” by Kwame Christian. In the context of conflict resolution. In a nutshell, it’s a framework to navigate through difficult conversations, with compassion/ empathy. Basically you 1. Acknowledge and validate emotions. 2. Get curious with compassion and 3. engange in joint problem solving.

I hadn’t heard of Kwame Christian’ concept of “Compassionate curiosity”. The framework seems really nice. A lot of social and emotional frameworks are 3-stage frameworks. Thanks for sharing this!

You can watch his TEDTalk here, https://www.ted.com/talks/kwame_christian_finding_confidence_in_conflict
or listen to him here explaining the framework in conflict resolution. https://www.bossedup.org/podcast/episode286

Thanks for sharing the links to the video and podcast! I’m going to watch the video later today.

I want to say yes, there is empathy deficit, but I also want to say no.
From my experience, access to technology and social media has allowed me, and others, to be more empathic. I can go on TikTok or Instagram and follow accounts by people who are completely different from me, see their perspectives, and use this information to make changes. I can see the world through the eyes of a refugee woman, see how my blind friend navigates a world not designed for them, or realize that I have a ton in common with a person living in a completely different context. In a way, we are very much disconnected, but in other ways, I feel we are more connected than ever.

I completely agree with you that technology and social media can bring us huge benefits by connecting with others we wouldn’t otherwise get to know.

What I believe is key, -and is often lacking- is empathic concern… doing something with what I’ve learned. It’s very easy to follow the accounts and say “oh, that sucks” (having sympathy), and then moving on.

Absolutely! This ’empathic concern’ is often the missing part of the puzzle.

That being said, I live in Berlin. Although it is a super versatile and diverse city, it is not the nicest of places. Many times, I have quite openly needed help, and nobody offered it. I have been elbowed by people numerous times, with them not so much as turning to acknowledge the fact that they hurt me. I don’t like to generalize, because I have met lovely humans here. However, many people living here are very grumpy, and it always feels like they’re doing you a favor- even when it is literally their job. Perhaps it’s the lack of sun. I have been here for almost 7 years. When I got here, I was surprised every time someone was rude, sadly, now I am surprised when people are nice.

Thanks for sharing your experience of living in Berlin. I think big cities can be much less empathic than smaller places despite the diversity and tolerance we find in big cities. I think a major cause of rudeness is a lack of empathy. You can’t really be empathic and be rude at the same time.

Thanks again for your excellent responses, Mariana.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Mariana,

Thanks very much for introducing yourself. Great to have you on the course.

I hope the course will show you how to integrate empathic-fostering activities and content tinto your curriculum.

I’m looking forward to working with you on the course.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Mª Penya,

Thanks very much for introducing yourself. Great to have you on the course.

I’m interested to hear that you’re familiar with the work of Daniel Goleman who’s done so much to popularise the concept of social and emotional intelligence, and that you’ve studied this subject in your MA.

I’m looking forward to working with you on the course.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Emilie,

Thanks very much for your great answers!

✅ What I do : enthusiasm, adapting my voice tone, affirmative approach, definitely seeing the student as a indivual, as a person, thinking of my own experience and trying to be and do what I teach (role model) and good manners (politeness and kindness above all)

These are all wonderful things to do in order to foster empathy. Being enthusiastic is so important to empathy and often overlooked. Thinking back to your own experience and how you would like to be treated by a teacher is really helpful to fostering empathy. Acting as a role model of a moral person is one of the best ways of embedding a culture of empathy in the classroom. Good manners are absolutely fundamental but, unfortunately, often overlooked.

? What I could do more : finding the time for more 1-1 discussion and to build up a more complete knowledge on each of them

Finding time to give individual time to each students is a real challenge especially in large groups. Building up an in-depth knowledge of each student is a great thing to do.

Thanks again for your excellent responses, Emilie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Emilie,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response to the questions.

She was expliciting with details everything she was expecting from her student and she was making sure we understood. She was kind & strict on the same time. She knew me well and I like her transparency. She was taking the necessary extra time with every student. Our work was being assessed and he was separating our results work with our person (“you are not your result”).

She sounds like a brilliant and empathic teachers. It is quite possible to be strict and kind at the same time, isn’t it? They’re not mutually exclusive. This teacher gave extra individual time to each students and this is one of the characteristics of profoundly empathic teacher proposed by Bridget Cooper. I really like how the teacher separated the result from the person. In the West we have too great a focus on the result while in Asian culture there’s a greater focus on the process.

He was saying to my parents that I was too introvert, as if introvert was a problem ! But he never gave me any tips to get better or strategies to express myself differently in the classroom. He was in a way judging me without helping me. And it was even worse, because I was excluded as he was only talking to my parents (no direct communication with me).

It’s such a shame that being introverted was seen as a problem by this teacher and indeed that in the West being introverted is often seen as a character defect when it’s absolutely not. I like the way you analyse this situation by saying the teacher was judging you without helping you, without offering you any strategies. the teacher’s approach was definitely lacking in empathy and sensitivity.

She was : Encouraging – Not pointing out mistakes all the time – Adding value to everything I could already understand alone – Letting me freedom of choice – And a lot of physical moves showing me that she was perfectly understanding what I was saying

Being encouraging is definitely a characteristic of a profoundly empathic teacher. Giving students choice is recognising that not all students are the same and is an empathic approach.

She is always showing her will to communicate, share experience, help, being on service in a way.

These are all characteristics of a profoundly empathic teacher. Wanting to be of service to others is perhaps the single most important quality of an empathic person.

Thanks again for such a thoughtful and insightful response to the Activity, Emilie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Kieran]

Hi Emilie,

Thanks very much for your great answers!

I admire how educators give the same importance to social and academics skills, take care of every students, but as well of the the classroom as a community.

The focus on both academic and social skills is of great importance. Seeing the classroom as a community helps to foster empathy.

The teacher used the word “teachable” in the interview and it sparked some thoughts in me : what are the emotional and social prerequisite for a student to be teachable ? That’s such an important question.

Absolutely. The use of the word “teachable” is really interesting. I like your question about what emotional and social prerequisites are for a student to be teachable.

To create a good climate in the classroom – Reduce distances between the teacher and the student – The teacher can aim better the interests of his students (choosing a topic, materials, etc.) – To develop listening – Less stress – To understand the multiplicity of perspectives – To be kinder to ourselves

These are all excellent reasons for why empathy is important in the classroom.

With activity at the beginning of the class to share how we feel, explicitly emotional activities – With groups and pair work – With more strategies to self-evaluate – With social and emotional learning frameworks giving to the teachers – Explicitly assessing social skills – To reach the heart of our learners ! = so we should have flexibility in our school curriculum on the ways and materials we are using so that the teacher can adapt his course

These are all superb ways of fostering empathy in the classroom. There some excellent social and emotional learning frameworks. I like your idea of explicitly assessing social skills – they skills can definitely be developed. I completely agree that teachers need to have the flexibility in their methods and materials to be able to do this.

Two quotes I like on this topic to finish ?
Plato – “All learning has an emotional basis”
Roni Habib – “All deep learning happens through relationships”

Two lovely and pertinent quotations!

Thanks again for your excellent responses, Emilie.

All the best,

Kieran

[Author]

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